Failure is something that stomps on our self-confidence and desire to pursue our goals. It has the power to make even the most qualified curl up and retreat, especially as news travels sooo quickly and trolls lay waiting to give uninformed and unwanted opinions. It is a part of life, but you can overcome failure, grow from it, and still achieve your dreams.
A few years back, Disney released an animated movie called Meet the Robinsons that had a deep impact and meaning: celebrate each failure you have because it gives you an opportunity to try again..wiser.
Most people make the mistake of thinking that when they fail at something, they should move on and take it as a sign they were never meant to succeed at it. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
When you’re trying to accomplish something, failure is the best thing that can happen to you. Seriously! Do you think the light bulb was invented the first time around? No! Thomas Edison took thousands of tries to get it just right!
What about the first wheel or the telephone? Of course, it takes multiple tries by multiple people to reach success, but the key point to remember is that you must fail first to know when you’ve succeeded.
Real-Life Examples of Failure
Think of a toddler learning how to walk. Although they give a fair share of tantrums during the learning stages, they pull themselves up after each fall and try to walk again. Instinctively, they’re teaching themselves how to perfect the movement based on their past mistakes. It’s a trial-and-error process!
People struggling with weight loss often feel like failures when they gain weight while dieting. Keeping a weight loss journal can help them track their progress and learn to recognize what triggers backslides, including emotional or physical triggers that can be prevented—learning from these mistakes will teach them how to combat those same problems in the future.
Failure offers another benefit: it opens doors that will allow you to find out what you’re really destined to do. This happens in college all the time.
How Your Experiences Help You Find Yourself
Certainly, you know at least one person who went to college to pursue one degree and as they went through their course work, experiencing successes and failures, they discovered a new career interest and changed their major.
Think of a student who started college to become a nurse, but soon realized what they really enjoy is teaching. The whole reason they were going into nursing was to help educate people to improve their lives. Ultimately, they found the best way to do that is not as a nurse, but as a teacher. There’s nothing wrong with that!
As long as you can learn from your “mistakes,” they’re not mistakes at all – they’re opportunities for success! There’s always something to learn from every situation. Once you understand the lesson, it will make you a better person.
Become Stronger and Wiser
Failure makes you a stronger person. Imagine what it would be like if everything you did always went your way. Imagine that you were successful at everything you attempted your whole life and then one day it happened: you failed! You failed so severely that it caused you to lose everything. How would you deal with that failure if you’d never had to overcome an obstacle before?
Failing allows you to become more resilient, so you can always figure out a way to move forward.
The first wheel may have been square, and it moved, but it was wobbly and eventually fell over. But the inventors never gave up! They figured out how to make it rounder so it could roll smoothly. You can do the same in your life! You can’t give up; you have to pick yourself up and figure out a way to roll forward, stronger than ever!
Action Steps To Overcome Failure:
Learn from failures. Evaluate missteps and brainstorm alternative ways to achieve your goal.
2. What are your takeaways? What skills were you missing? What new can you learn to improve the outcome?
3. Keep a journal of your progress and remind yourself to never give up on yourself. If not this, God has many other accomplishments ahead for you!
There is so much more ahead for you if you invest in the uncomfortableness of gaining strength by learning how to overcome failure. You can do this and succeed!
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According to a growing body of clinical research, mistakes enrich learning if you adopt a positive mindset about your mistakes. Best of all, there are practical steps you can take to transform your mistakes into opportunities.
Change always starts with changing your thinking. How we perceive ourselves is at the core of moving past challenges. Let’s begin your transformation by changing how we think about ourselves.
Words of Wisdom to Learn From Your Mistakes…
Recognize that you can improve. People who understand that intelligence and skills are flexible rather than fixed are more likely to persevere. Your performance improves with practice and effort.
Accept your imperfections. Anxiety can interfere with your ability to do your best. Assure yourself that it’s okay to make some mistakes. For example, maybe you excel at managing projects but are challenged with reports and follow through.
Hold yourself accountable. At the same time, you’ll benefit from taking responsibility for your actions. Analyze situations with a view as to what you can do better instead of worrying about external conditions beyond your control.
Set realistic goals. Ensure your expectations are reasonable. Progress often comes gradually. Most of us first learn to crawl, then walk, then run. Is it practical to think you could learn to count in preschool, then do Calculus in first grade? I have wasted time trying shortcuts only for it to take longer or have to start over.
Limit your risks. It’s easier to learn from mistakes if your health or life savings are not at stake. For instance, hold onto your day job while you research ideas for starting a business.
Engage in positive self-talk. If you’ve been called or call yourself negative things-STOP. You should be your biggest cheerleader! Love and believe in yourself-see your value. When all of those things aren’t enough, I rely on what God says about me. Psalm 139:14 is just one of many things He says about us. Remember past experiences where your efforts paid off. Give yourself credit for striving to do your best.
See the humor in your mistakes.Humor is another powerful antidote. Laughing at setbacks will reduce stress and help you recover faster. I learned to not take myself too seriously. I have to admit some of the things are funny, like what was I thinking…
Give praise strategically. Whether you’re talking with yourself, family, friends, or peers, praise effort rather than intelligence. It encourages you to focus on improving rather than trying to prove you’re smart, valuable, or good enough.
Seek advice from others. If you’re starting to see a pattern in your mistakes, it may help to get some outside assistance and feedback. It’s important to seek advice from someone who has your best interest at heart. Be wary of confiding with individuals who are like crabs in a barrel… you never need to put a cover on the barrel because as soon as one starts climbing up another pulls him back down.
Appreciate the value of a sincere apology. The most painful mistakes we make are often those that affect other people. The willingness to own offer a heartfelt apology and make appropriate restitution helps both parties to heal and move on with their lives.
Position Yourself For Growth – Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Take on tough challenges. Venturing into new areas gives us more opportunities to learn. Stretch beyond your usual boundaries. If your day job is in accounting, volunteer as a tour guide at a local attraction. You get it, right? The idea is to stretch yourself so that you become comfortable despite the situation.
Make educated guesses. Studies show that students acquire more knowledge and retain it longer when they guess at the answers before looking them up.Brainstorm how you would approach a home repair job before consulting a guidebook.
Test yourself.It also helps to test yourself on what you know in order to improve your recall. When you’re learning a new language, drill yourself on vocabulary and grammar. Pick out the questions you get wrong so you can study and test yourself again.
Transform Mistakes Into Opportunities
We all make mistakes, so seize the opportunity to make them work for you. By focusing on getting better at any task, you’ll stay motivated, experience less anxiety, and learn more.
ACTION STEPS:
Accept that mistakes and failure or part of your journey to success
Work on your self-love and acceptance, understanding what you do isn’t who you are.
Fai forward. Learn, revise your game plan, and use the expereince to move forward.
Print this week’s Overcoming Challenges Checklist and post it somewhere visible to be consntly reminded how to transform mistakes into opportunities.
You got this!!! XOXO
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Have you ever had a great dream and it was suddenly interrupted?
I remember trying to go back to sleep so I could finish it, only to toss and turn, unable to get back to that place. During our lives, we sometimes have dreams that are interrupted. Everything is progressing well, we have set our hearts in anticipation of what is ahead, and suddenly, our dreams are delayed or derailed. With so much invested, how do we move forward and not concede to defeat? During disappointing times we ask questions like….was it not meant to be, do we not deserve to achieve it, or is there something wrong with me? Developing the skills to overcome disappointment helps us stay motivated, make adjustments as needed, and continue pursuing our goals. Failing to learn how to navigate through letdowns creates missed opportunities and leaves us unfulfilled, stuck, and frustrated.
Don’t be afraid to dream.
If I were ever asked, “Did you ever imagine that you would accomplish this?” My response would not be like most people…my answer would be an emphatic YES. I am a dreamer who regularly has visions of achieving various goals that I set. I actually see myself functioning in the blessings of those goals. Since a child, I have filled many notebooks with dreams and aspirations. The pages, filled with research and plans; I plotted out the steps needed to achieve each goal. I am not sure if the two are connected, but I also dream a lot in my sleep. Some are great adventures, a few are nightmares, and every once in a while, a crazy dream that makes me laugh every time I think about it. My family takes great joy in teasing me about having a conversation in my sleep about Jupiter being outside the window.
With notebooks in hand, dreams in my head, and a world to conquer, I was eager to pursue my dreams but fell short many times in the beginning because I gave up too easily in the face of disappointment, obstacles, closed doors, and opposition-believing I didn’t have the ability to overcome.
Develop the skills to manage disappointment.
We all know someone who seems to have it easy, gets all the breaks, and always shines. The brief moments we observe and connect with others often don’t reveal their experiences and time invested in building personal development skills that provide assurance and confidence despite the challenges they come up against. No one escapes disappointment and the pressure to give up and walk away. That someone you admire faces similar problems and devastation like the rest of us; however, how they internally process challenges, things going left, and letdowns prepare them to move forward effectively.
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Below are four action steps to help you navigate through and overcome disappointment.
Acknowledge that life is not always easy and there are times of discouragement and overwhelming challenges. Successful endeavors almost always include overcoming obstacles and managing challenges. If you manage to achieve your dream without much effort, you certainly will have to invest in maintaining it. No one escapes disappointment or situations that do not turn out as planned. When you experience disappointment, it is easy to feel isolated and think you are the only one going through this. We all need a foundation as a source to gain strength during difficult times. No one was created to carry the weight of problems and challenges on his or her own.
Choose this as an opportunity to grow and learn. Sidlow Baxter said, “What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity.” I have grown the most during difficult times. Refusing to be defeated, I use the experience to learn about others, the process, and myself. Challenges can come from both the inside and out and provide situations that cause you to assess your plan, develop character, and evaluate your course of action.
Do not jump ship before evaluating your situation. Many great ideas are abandoned under the pressure of disappointment. I myself have shelved dreams that had great potential, but in hindsight believe I gave up on them too soon. History would tell a very different story about Bill Gates, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, and many other achievers if they had given up and not remained focused, despite disappointments and interruptions in pursuit of their dreams. Some dreams just might need tweaking, a fresh perspective, time, or greater investment. Be sure to make an informed decision versus one based on emotions.
Keep your eye on the big picture. Achieving a dream is about happiness and fulfillment. You alone have the power to create those in your life. Build your confidence by garnering the knowledge and support to pursue your dreams. Do not rob yourself and those in your life from abundant living because you are waiting to achieve your dream to be happy. Learn to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.
Often, our dreams take us out of our typical environment. We don’t usually dream about a mediocre job, a studio apartment, or a horrible marriage. Our dreams take us beyond where we currently see ourselves and stretch our imagination and courage to believe we can achieve them.
A dream without a goal is a wish.
A goal without a plan is just a dream.”
-Unknown
Power through disappointment and setbacks.
I always admire the stories of overweight individuals transforming their bodies into healthy performance athletes. While emotions, personal situations, injuries, and other incidents often delayed or interrupted them in achieving their goals, the successful ones pursued through the challenges. When pursuing our dreams, we need to be just as diligent and never give up despite setbacks. Challenge yourself to power through disappointment and setbacks. Never lose the excitement and drive to accomplish your dreams. The process will be worth it as you overcome obstacles to achieve your goals.
What disappointments do you desire to overcome? Please message, comment, or click CONNECT to share how you are going to overcome disappointment and achieve your goal. . As a community, we wantto support you on your journey to living your best life. Don’t let disappointment cause you to give up on your goals and dreams.
You don’t have to struggle through overcoming obstacles to create the change you desire. Contact Sheila M to discuss how we can work together so you can live in purpose, passion, and happiness! Click COACHING for more information.
I’m proclaiming this is the year we will overcome obstacles! All of us have them and probably more often than not have moved on to other things because we at a loss of how to eliminate them. Let’s look at 6 areas we can overcome obstacles that are holding us back from our life being on track to a fulfilled and happy life.
With so many moving parts, disruptions, and competing priorities, it’s easy for your life to get off track. This imbalance is caused by putting undue focus on certain priorities to an extent that pushes out your other priorities. A life that’s on track is also well-balanced.
Regain your balance and get back at the helm of a life you desire with these strategies:
Possessions. It’s easy to get your life out of balance if you’ve been overly focused on possessions. You’re more likely to incur debt. You also might be feeling empty inside. The rush of owning a Ferrari eventually wears off. Avoid chasing possessions/things as a source of happiness.
Do prioritize based on your income and debt what is feasible, what you need to save up to purchase, and creating additional income to acquire your wishlist. If you want balance, avoid excessive debt. Living paycheck to paycheck leaves no protection for life events that can be costly, i.e. hospitalization, house or car repairs, loss of a job, etc…you know what I mean.
Avoid letting possessions control your life, but ensure that you have what you need.
Your appearance and health. Focusing on your health is a worthwhile use of your attention. But too many people are overly concerned with their appearance. Everyone that lives long enough eventually looks old. What will you do then?
You still have the option of feeling good about yourself, even if you’re not as attractive by the stereotypical standards as some people are. Everyone has their own unique beauty.
Paying attention to your health and accepting your appearance will put this aspect of your life into balance.
Finances. Many people tie their self-image to their income. This isn’t a healthy or well-balanced approach. Money and happiness also don’t correlate above an income of $75k. Avoid basing your self-esteem on how much money you make.
Having too little money can also throw your life out of balance. If you don’t have enough money to reliably pay your bills and feed your family, there’s going to be stress. Focus on generating the income you need, but avoid giving money more attention than it deserves.
Relationships. Relationships are important, but they’re not the only thing in life. Putting all your emphasis on a relationship can limit other aspects of your life.
Relationships can be a significant source of both pleasure and stress. If your life is feeling out of control, examine your relationships and determine if changes are warranted.
Career. This tends to affect men more than women. Men seem to define themselves by their careers. How many times have you been asked, “What do you do?” And we’d love to say we’re a cardiothoracic surgeon instead of a plumber. But why does it matter?
Give work enough priority that you’re able to be successful in your chosen field, and remember that you’re more than your job title.
Reputation. Once we start school, we’re obsessed with the opinions of others. Carrying this attitude into adulthood can create challenges.
Let go of the need to be admired by everyone. If your friends and family admire you, you’re doing better than most.
It’s all about balance. Try to find the middle path. We all need money, but no one needs $10 million. It’s not having $10 million that’s the problem. It’s the unreasonable pursuit of it.
Find balance in your work, relationships, and possessions. Get your life back on track by seeking balance. Oh, and don’t sweat or use energy on things that don’t matter.
Overcoming these 6 obstacles is a good start to moving past what limits you from reaching your greatest potential. What other areas have you struggled with that have been a roadblock to your success? Message me; I’d love to include them in future discussions.
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